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Here is an extract from an article written by Karen's maternal grandmother when Karen was seven.When Karen was born, her grandma has recently been diagnosed with severe arthritis in her knees. The article continues: Our doctor had said " you just have to accept these things at your age." And I did. But when Karen was born seven years ago, I went to him and said,"My daughter has just had a Downs Syndrome baby and I have to help her, so what can you do about my knees?" I restrained my violent feelings at his reply."Well,you know, this sort of thing often bring out the best in families." But he sent me for deep heat and physiotherapy and I was soon able to baby-sit and when neccessary, to chase after her three-year-old sister who was running to the end of their large old-fashioned flat to put salt into the marmalade and then eat it with a spoon or maybe her hand. The other grandparents live outide London but sometimes come to spend a week or two with the family. Both of us grandmothers have read several books about Down's children but the two grandfathers seem to feel that the less known and the less said about it,the more likely it is to go away. Is it just us, or do men in general react this way? When I go to my daughter's to baby-sit or for Sunday lunch Karen always greets me delightedly. I offer to take charge of her , but it is the other way around. She takes charge of me She says "coat off. Sit down" So I sit down on the sofa and she says "book" so we look at lots of books for a short time, pointing to things in the pictures.The next order is not so clear . She says "Ap". The first time she said it I thought she wanted to sit on my lap but it was her version of "Snap". She produces the cards and we play two or three games.Suddenly she sweeps them all to the floor saying "Naughty!"Well I am quite innocent but I have to face the wall.After a few minutes she says"cry!". I say "sorry" and then she is the naughty one and faces the wall. She likes to play school with her dolls.She sits them in a row and seems to be haranguing them in her own private language.I introduced variety into this game by asking the dolls questions and having them give silly answers.She knows colours so I show a doll something red and get the doll to say it is blue.She thinks this is hilarious and says "More!" Other questions cover other facts that she knows well."What does the cow say?" "woof woof!"The teddy bear may say "miaouw" to her great delight I am not so keen on her sudden command for " 'ighting".We start to fight and I am still bigger and stronger than she is, so I hold my own pretty well. but I can't achieve the heroism of her father who submits to being floored , sat on and pummeled.I escape by transferring the fighting to two dolls who give a tremendous thrashing to each other We sing. She wants "hallelujah" by which she means."Michael, Row the Boat Ashore and "He's got the whole world in His hands". Last time she asked me to go to the piano and play "naughty Song ." "I don't know any naughty songsSo she called Mummy.Mummy obliged with a song that has us all laughing. She plays a simple rhythmic tune and improvises verse after verse.Somebody in the family does something outrageously naughty in each. Care must be taken that these naughty things are impossible for Karen to do ,as she doesnt need new ideas for naughtiness. sometimes i have her over for sunday lunch so that the family can have a quiet peaceful lunch and then daddy can get on with odd jobs and mummy can get caught up with letters or her own endless work Recently my son,Karens uncle, invited us all to his home in the country for the day. I had offered to take charge of Karen so her parents could relax in the sun except for looking after her year old brother.One never knows what she might do in her tireless activity-pick some cherished flowers, eat some unripe berries,break a favourite ornament draw on the attractive whitel space of wall, start on the cake intended for teatime? So she and I looked at books, I pushed her on the swing, we played hide-and seek, both of us hiding in obvious places , we said nursery rhyomes.I was able to lounge in a deck chair for a while when her 14 year old cousin amused her but she couldnt be left unsupervised with the three younger than herslef even though one was a boy biggger than she is.  Grandma's 90th birthday 2001 |
Grandma's 95th birthday 2006
